Feeling Lost

This past week was a whirlwind of activity. We all enjoyed the long weekend, and then it was off to the races! All of our extra-curricular activities started this week, and it was brutal to get back into the swing of things. This summer, we enjoyed the lazy evenings with no plans and got into the habit of starting dinner whenever the kids were ready to come in from playing, having them shower, and feeding them in their pajamas. That was NOT the case this week.

Let's back up a little bit. My whirlwind actually started a little over a week ago. We were on the tail end of the first week of school, and I was feeling pretty good about how things were going. You know those weeks when you feel like you're on top of your game, you get places on time, your kids are listening and cooperating, your house is clean, laundry is done, and dinner is on the table every night? It doesn't happen very often, but I was feeling pretty good about our first week of school, and I may have even been patting myself on the back a bit. My children were precious, and all was right in the world.

The first hiccup came on Wednesday afternoon...1.5 hours of homework for my third grader. WHAT?!?!? This was NOT on the agenda. After the little snafu, we regrouped and got back into our groove. I thought to myself, we've got this, not a big deal, we just need to put on our game faces every day after school and get this done.

The next day, I was still on my high horse preparing food for our first Wake Forest football tailgate. I made these Mini Tomato Tarts and Ham Party Rolls. It was a lot of work, but I was prepared and had "used my time wisely." My oldest was hard at work on his second night of homework at the kitchen table, and we were right on track to get everything done just in time for me to shower, get everyone changed, and get to the tailgate on time to help set up. I had just packaged up the ham rolls and had pulled the last of the tomato tarts out of the oven, when I heard a blood curdling cry. I ran over to the stairs, and there was my middle child holding his head that was dripping blood. All he kept asking was, "Am I bleeding? Am I bleeding?." As I was assuring him that it wasn't that bad, my oldest child saw him, and with a look of horror on his face started hysterically crying. That sent everyone into a tail spin...all three children were screaming crying, and I couldn't get us out of there fast enough.

We got my child all stitched up, and, in the meantime, a good friend came by and grabbed the food for the tailgate. When we got home, I finally got my shower, got my kids changed, and my husband got home earlier than anticipated and was able  to ride with us to the game. Crisis averted. All was good. We made it to the tailgate only an hour later than we planned to. I cracked open my wine, enjoyed some yummy food, visited with lots of friends, and made it into the game on what ended up being a picture perfect night after an afternoon of storms. We made it to halftime when everyone started melting down a little bit. We got home, got everyone showered and to bed, and enjoyed some Netflix. All in all, it was a great day despite the stitches.

The next day was when everything fell apart. I woke up and couldn't find my keys. Not that big of a deal because I have a spare set. There were slight annoyances that went along with losing those keys. I had to give my name, birthday, etc at the YMCA rather than just scanning my card and I was late to BodyPump (if you attend, you know you CANNOT be late or you won't get a spot or your weights), I was crammed in the corner, and I didn't have all of my gear. No biggie...I was still at the Y working out...I went home and rather than cleaning my house as I had planned to do before the weekend, I spent the entire time my kids were at school looking for my keys. I turned my entire house upside down. I mean, my ENTIRE house. I turned over furniture and dumped out cushions, I dumped out every drawer in all of our bedrooms, I emptied out the fridge and the pantry, I dumped all of the toys out of every bin in the playroom, and I went through the recycling and the trash. Guess what...I didn't find my keys. I started calling every single place I could think of that they could be. I was 99% sure that they were somewhere in my house since we had made it home from the tailgate, but in my tornado of a day getting to the tailgate, I couldn't remember if I took my regular keys or my spare in my haste.

Since I lost those keys, I have felt completely lost. My mind has been pre-occupied with those keys, where they could be, what could happen if I didn't find them, who could have them, etc. Every time I came home, I had butterflies in my stomach hoping that no one had come into my house. I went to bed every night praying that no one would walk in the front door, and I wasn't able to sleep. I have had anxiety all week. I went through the motions of getting dinners made, getting my kids where they needed to be, visiting with friends, etc, and I'm not sure anyone would've known what was going on. I played it pretty cool...until this morning.

I couldn't find my EXTRA keys this morning, and I literally started having a mini panic attack. I was sweating. Am I losing my mind? I KNOW I put those keys in my purse last night. Could my husband have taken them? That must be it...he totally took them, and it's his fault that they're not where I thought they were. I went in circles around the house until my husband finally asked what was going on with me. I lost my cool and accused him of being with me both times that I lost my keys and not doing anything to help. Being the calm cucumber that he is, he just simply looked at me like I had lost my mind, and said, "Are you seriously blaming me for losing your keys...again?" Normally I would not have had such a panicked response to losing keys, but this was the SECOND time, and I really couldn't believe it. I calmed myself down, went back to my purse, and looked in the little inside pocket. There they were, right where I left them...and guess what, I went back to the bag that we took to the tailgate, the one I had looked in no less than 25 times, and I found the little inside pocket. There were my original set of keys. I ran outside, found my husband, jumped for joy, and immediately burst into tears. He gave me a big hug, and gave me a lot of grace saying, "You take care of three people all day everyday, you run them all over the place to all of their activities...that you signed them up for by the way...and you do a great job. Give yourself a break. You're okay." My response was, "But now you know I'm not perfect." We both got a HUGE laugh out of that. I walked back upstairs, wiped away my tears, ordered four of the Apple Tiles from Amazon. They will be arriving Tuesday, so hopefully I can keep up with my keys until then.

I have not felt "lost" in a while. It was a good reminder of how the littlest things going wrong can really affect us. If we hold it all in and act like everything's okay, it will work for a little while, but it will eventually catch up with us. If we don't let people know that we're feeling anxious, that we need help, that we need to say "no" right now to preserve our fragile selves, we run the risk of getting into a vicious cycle. We put on a good face, we muscle through, we start to fall apart, and then we freak out. Putting on a good face and muscling through are things we just have to do sometimes, but when we start to fall apart, we have to tell someone. We have to find those people who we trust to help us. Otherwise, we run the risk of looking like a crazy person when we lose our cool over something that just really doesn't matter...yes, I am speaking from experience.

I realize that losing my keys does not qualify as a crisis, but if I had simply told my husband how truly upset I was, he may have helped me look, we may have found them sooner, and I probably wouldn't have lost my mind on him this morning. When real life hits, we have to be able to let people know what's going on.

When we are sleep deprived because of a baby who won't sleep or because of a worry that keeps us up at night, we have to find ways to rest. When we are upset because of a friendship that has gone through a bump in the road or because a family member is sick, we have to find a safe place to share our sadness. When we just can't get it all together because we are overcommitted because of our own decisions or because of things that are out of our control, we need to ask for help. Most likely, there is someone feeling on top of the world like I was a couple of weeks ago who would be more than happy to lend an ear, watch a child, take something off of your plate, and it is no big deal to them. There is also probably someone drowning right next to you that you don't even know about. Watch for the signs...if someone is not acting like themselves, there is more than likely a reason that has nothing to do with what's on the surface.

Unfortunately, there are no flashing lights letting others know how we're doing. It's up to us to be truthful with those around us. Life is so much easier when we let people in rather than keeping a wall up in the hopes of preserving an image of "perfection." Next time you need a friend, or just someone to help you find your keys, don't be afraid to ask. I know I'd love to help and I'm sure your buddies would too.




Simple Perfect Enchiladas

I always LOVE recipes from The Pioneer Woman. They are hearty, yummy, and feed a crowd...which is important these days as I can barely keep up with my children's appetites! These enchiladas remind me of the ones we used to get at our favorite Mexican restaurant when we lived in Scottsdale, Arizona. The Pioneer Woman takes a few extra steps to make these extra delicious...she thickens the sauce by adding flour and chicken stock, and she also has you fry the tortillas before dipping them in the sauce and rolling up the filling. This part didn't work out so well for me. My tortillas were already split when I opened the bag so they kept falling apart. I decided that I would layer the enchiladas rather than rolling them. I placed the enchilada sauce in the bottom of the dish as instructed then put a layer of the fried/dipped tortillas down, then the filling ingredients, then another layer of the fried/dipped tortillas, then the sauce and the remaining cheese as instructed. This ended up more like an enchilada casserole, but I don't think it made any difference to the taste at all. If you are looking for something that feeds a crowd, can be eaten at different times due to differing schedules, and you are craving something delicious, this is the ticket!

Ingredients:
FOR SAUCE:
2 T canola oil
2T flour
28 oz enchilada sauce
2 cups chicken broth
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper
FOR MEAT FILLING:
1 lb ground beef
1 onion, chopped
1/2 tsp salt
REMAINING INGREDIENTS:
Canola oil for frying
10-14 corn tortillas
8 oz chopped green chiles
1/2 cup sliced black olives
1 cup sliced green onions
3 cups cheddar cheese
Cilantro for garnish

Method:
Complete recipe from The Pioneer Woman found on foodnetwork.com, HERE.

Happy Cooking!


Be Kind and HAVE FUN! - originally posted 5/20/2014


NOTE: I originally wrote this post over two years ago. All week long, (as it's the first week of school), we have been talking about being kind to our friends, our classmates, our teachers, our friends, our bus driver, the younger kids at school, etc. I went back and read this post as I was updating the blog, and I thought that the timing was right to re-post it...hope you all survived the first week of school, whether it was last week or before that...and if this coming week is your first week, hold on for the ride ;)


Click to view the entire post.


Original post from 5/20/2014

Last week was a week full of dinners with friends and impromptu play dates. Here's how it all played out:

We had a farewell dinner of sorts for some of our friends/neighbors towards the beginning of the week. I made my Tomato Pie and Food and Wine's Grilled Mini Meatloaves. My friend brought a delicious salad with homemade balsamic dressing and some yummy cookies. The night was laid back and so much fun for us and the kids.

The next night was dinner with my best friend from Wake and her two kiddos. We are making a concerted effort to get our families together once a week since her youngest couldn't remember my name!!!  (He's barely 3 but STILL!) I grabbed some premade crabcakes from Trader Joe's and put them over a simple salad with blue cheese and a lemon vinaigrette. Again, a fun night, but my friend and I decided there's a reason we usually drink wine when we get all of our kids together ;)

Thursday afternoon, a friend of mine asked if her two boys could come home on the bus with my oldest child. (I am still working on "Paying It Forward" and my boys love these boys so it was a no-brainer.) They stayed for a play date, and, as they were leaving, my friend found out that her husband's flight was delayed, and I found out that my husband needed to stay late for a meeting. Well, after a quick trip to the grocery store for salad fixings and a phone call to Papa John's, it was another play date/dinner with friends. Done and done!

Saturday, another of my best friends from Wake who lives in Charlotte drove up for the day with her two kids. We had a picnic at Wake (totally forgot about it being WFU graduation on the quad...oops!) and then came back to my house to meet our other best friend and to put the littles down for naps and let the bigger kids play. They had a blast as did we. There is nothing better for my soul than time with my best girlfriends!! They stayed through dinner...she brought Barefoot Contessa's Roast Chicken for us to enjoy, and I provided the sides.

I absolutely LOVED spending this time with family friends this past week. Now, I don't want you to leave here thinking that everything is always perfection...the image that I imagine you have in your head is of me in a cute little apron serving a delicious meal while all of my kids are sitting quietly at the table, napkins in their laps, waiting for the blessing to be said. Riiiigggghhhhtttt...y'all have read enough of this blog to know that that is a false image that I do not wish to convey!

Any time you get entire families together, there are bound to be some sibling rivalries come to surface, personality conflicts, and maybe a smidge of grouchiness (amongst the kids, not the adults...of course). Those aspects of the play dates are ALWAYS outweighed by the benefits of the play dates, however, and, as I have said before, I HIGHLY encourage these afternoon play dates/dinners with friends especially when you're flying solo.  Sometimes the success of a play date is just a result of setting a few simple ground rules to (hopefully) be followed by all parties involved.

When you come to my house for a play date, there are two rules that I give you when you walk in the door: Be Kind and HAVE FUN! Now, there are LOTS more rules at my house, but there's just no need to get into all of them when kids are here for a limited amount of time and the point of their time here is genuinely to HAVE FUN! I have found over my six+ years of being a parent that these two rules (Be Kind and HAVE FUN!) encompass pretty much any conflict that could arise during a play date. If kids aren't being kind, someone's not going to be having fun. If someone's not having fun, they are likely to turn that into being unkind to either get attention or to try and make everyone else not have fun either. If I hear a raised voice or see tears, I can usually ask, "Is everyone having fun? Is everyone being kind?". Those are yes or no questions that leave little wiggle room for ambiguous answers.

Doesn't that apply to us as adults as well in some way? If we're not being kind (whether it's directed at someone, at a group of people, or just at ourselves) someone is not having "fun." And if we're not having "fun," (whether that looks like being sick, being overwhelmed, being in a bad place in our relationships, or just generally being crabby), it is a lot more difficult to be kind. When people are unkind, I find that it usually has little to do with what's lying on the surface. There is more to their story, more behind their being unkind. Sometimes, you have to peel the onion to get to the root of the problem, and sometimes you have to give people a little grace and just allow them to work things out in their own time. It's hard to not take unkindness personally, but I have found over the years and through many many amazing friendships that, more often than not, unkindness in either friends or from strangers usually has little to nothing to do with me (unless I know that I've done something that I need to apologize for...obviously!).

It is so hard to admit sometimes that we are not the centers of everyone's universe, so when we experience someone having a bad day, we sometimes jump to the conclusion that they're mad at us, that we did something wrong, that they don't like us, blah blah blah. I can tell you right now that when I am snippy and crabby, it rarely has anything to do with anyone other than me...even if it doesn't seem that way on the surface. I can blame other people (my husband, my kids, and my family usually get cast in this unfair role), but the bottom line is, I am the one who is responsible for my attitude. I am the one who can change my own tune and who can turn the day around. It's not anyone else's fault or problem...it's mine, 100% mine.

Like I said before, we all need grace at our non-finer moments, and it's our greatest friends who give us that grace and who love us despite our "cray-cray." It's those friends who can see beyond our words and our attitude to know that there's something deeper going on, that what we're talking about on the surface probably has nothing to do with what's really going on, that when we're not ourselves, there may be a problem that needs to be uncovered. I know it's hard, and I'm not be any means suggesting that we play mind games with each other or try to make something out of nothing, but I've been that crabby person who, upon lots of self reflection, realizes that what I think is the problem is really just a product of a deeper issue I'm having within myself.

Whew, I don't really know how to wrap this up other than to say, thank goodness there are those people out there who love me in spite of myself and for whom I do the same in return. Thank goodness there are friends who can come to dinner at my home and embrace what they're walking into. It's not going to be perfect, but I promise, I will Be Kind, and we will HAVE FUN!

Happy Cooking!

Curried Squash Soup

This soup is so wonderfully delicious. Squash is one of my favorite summertime veggies, and this soup puts it to great use! It has just the right amount of sweet and spice. Perfect for summer, especially a day like today when it's a little chilly and damp. Don't forget the Sister Shubert's Rolls to serve along with this soup. They make the meal! Recipe from Meet Me at the Garden Gate.

Ingredients;
2 small onions, chopped
1/2 cup butter
1 1/2 cup Granny Smith apple, peeled & diced
6 tsp curry powder
3 cups cooked, sliced yellow squash
3 3/4 cups chicken broth
7.5 oz evaporated milk
1 1/2 T lemon juice
Salt & pepper to taste

Method:
Saute the onion in butter in a stockpot until tender. Add the apple & curry powder, and cook for 5 minutes. Add the squash & chicken broth & bring to a boil. Reduce heat, and cook for 15 miutes. Let stand until cool. After soup is cooled a bit, process the soup in batches in a food processor or use an immersion blender to blend until smooth. Stir in evaporated milk & lemon juice. Season w/ salt & pepper. Serve warm or cold.

Happy Cooking!


Squash & Tomato Casserole

Oh, Tea-Time, how I love you! This recipe was really easy and great for using fresh summer veggies. Perfect to go alongside a roasted chicken, a piece of steak, or as a side for a totally vegetarian meal.

Recipe inspired by recipe from Tea-Time at the Masters

Ingredients:
1 T olive oil
1/2 cup chopped onion
2 cups sliced, cooked squash
1/2 tsp dried basil
1/4 tsp garlic powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp ground black pepper
6 oz shredded cheddar cheese
1 large tomato, diced, then smashed with your hands
1/4 tsp salt
1 T sugar

Method:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Saute onion in olive oil in medium skillet until tender. Add squash, basil, garlic powder, salt & pepper. Add cheddar cheese and stir until melted. Pour squash mixture into 1 1/2 quart casserole dish. Add tomatoes, salt & pepper to same saute pan and cook until juices start to evaporate. Pour tomato mixture over squash mixture. (Can be refrigerated or frozen at this point.) Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes.

Happy Cooking!

Mini Tomato Tarts


You asked for it, so here you go! I made these for our first Wake Forest tailgate last night. Tomato pie is one of my favorite dishes, and I wanted to make something that was hearty enough for a tailgate but that also still reminded me of summer...since it's been SO hot and humid this week. Little did I know that it would pour down rain and cool off to 70ish degrees. Ha! These were a little time consuming, so give yourself ample time to make these and let them cool before you attempt to transport them.

Ingredients:
16 mini pie crusts (found in the frozen section)
1 cup shredded Parmesan cheese (may need less)
1 pint grape or cherry tomatoes
1 cup basil
1/2 cup green onions
2 cups shredded cheddar jack cheese
1 cup good mayonnaise (I always use Duke's)

Method:
Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Remove pie crusts from packaging and allow to thaw for about 10 minutes. Poke holes in the pie crust with a fork. Sprinkle about 1T Parmesan cheese in the bottom of each crust. Bake on a cookie sheet for 6 minutes or until slightly golden. Reduce oven temp to 350 degrees. Allow tarts to cool for about 10 minutes.

Meanwhile, cut the tomatoes into fourths and drain in a colander. Finely chop the basil and green onions and combine or throw them into your food processor and let it do the work. In a separate bowl, combine cheese and mayonnaise. Add enough tomatoes to cover the bottom of the crusts then add 1-2 tsp of the basil mixture, depending on your taste. Top the tomatoes and basil mixture with 1-2 T of the mayo mixture, spreading evenly, depending on the size of your crusts.

Bake on a cookie sheet at 350 degrees for 30 minutes. Allow to cool almost completely and remove from the aluminum liners onto paper towels to drain.

Make sure you have a fork to serve these delicious tarts with because they are a little delicate.

Happy Cooking!

Grilled Mini Meat Loaves

Let me be the first to point out that I do NOT like traditional meatloaf. Anything with oatmeal and a ketchup glaze will not be foun...